After almost a month of prayer for God to forgive me for being a “bad” christian in my friend’s eyes, this comment kept bothering my heart. I decided to write about it at Weaver street market. As I sat writing, a passer by came up to me and asked what I was writing about. I told him that I was writing a concept piece about what being a christian really means. He responds with, “I knew you were a believer! I can tell that you are a good christian.” Wow. His words immediately freed me from the burden I had been carrying in my heart, which I let him know! Before we prayed together for his schooling, I asked him what he meant by the term “good christian.” We engaged in a conversation which I now feel lead to jot down.
God had sent one of his children to help free my heart from unnecessary guilt, but also allowed me to contemplate the situation. I wanted to write it up in case it will help unburden others who may carry such guilt in their hearts even after repentance, as we are ultimately free from shame in Jesus name.
1. Grace vs the law- Can we even live as perfect beings?
Being a Christian is built on God’s unending Grace, not human perfection (Mark10:27 and John 1:16-17). No matter how much we try, we cannot achieve earthly perfection, as we are all imperfect beings in this world. However, we often hold onto the ideal of perfection as dictated by society instead of focusing on the transformation of our spirit that happens when we fellowship with Jesus. In this state, we get worried when we fall short, or judgmental when others don’t measure up to our expectations of perfection. When we become Christians, we live under Grace, and not the law that expects perfection (Galatians 3:13). Jesus reminds us to let go of our judgement of each other with very simple imagery that describes the speck of dust that we notice in our friend’s eye while having a whole plank sticking out of our own! (Luke 6:41-42) So if we are asked to focus on the plank in our own eye instead of the speck of dust in our friend’s eye, where do we begin? The answer is in the next two lines of Luke 6.
2. Bearing good fruit- There is no perfect fruit
In Luke 6: 43-44, Jesus describes the nature of the tree will be shown in the nature of its fruit. If we were to focus on what God’s calling is on our lives, we will realize that there is no such thing as perfect fruit, or a perfect tree, or a perfect Christian, as “each tree is recognized by its own fruit.” If we focused instead on legalism, it can hamper the growth of others and even worse, hamper our own growth! If we were to recognize that we are not bearing good fruit, then it is never too late to pray that God will guide you towards producing fruit, or, actions in this life that He has called you to. This requires us to accept that we are imperfect beings in need of God’s help. How much? Pretty much…always.
3. Losing the kernel- Accepting our imperfection
Being a Christian hinges upon losing our ego to follow Jesus. In a stunning yet simple image of a kernel of wheat falling and losing its life, Jesus talks about how a seed can never grow unless it dies first (John 12:24). Kernels of wheat contain several layers that need to degrade before the actual embryo can grow into a wheat plant (refer to image). This was said before we had microscopes to look at cells. This was said even before we understood cells and their role in division for growth and senescence for death of organisms. Amazing. Here, Jesus tells us quite simply that He wants all our layers that we have put on as beings in a troubled world. He wants us to lose all these layers. These layers include any ideas that we are perfect beings, that we can ever be perfect beings, and our inability to show our soft side to each other or to God. He wants all the hard layers off! No ego! Show Him your heart! He demands this from us in order for us to have life in Him, and in order for us to grow and bear the good fruit he has planned for us. Society dictates that part of attaining perfection is to pretend to be strong in the face of trials. Jesus demands the opposite. In losing our ego, our lives as dictated by the world around us, we gain our life in the Spirit, in Him. It is so refreshing to let go of the idea of being “good” or “bad” as described by our fellow humans and follow instead a path of validation that results only from God. It is a path that determines our value based on how much we bear the cross and die to ourselves.
4. State function vs path function- Accepting the transformation from Jesus
In thermodynamics, a state function is a mathematical description of a process whose “value does not depend on the path taken to reach that specific value.” Life is quite the opposite for us humans. Our values, and our value to God, are both realized through the path we take in life. How many of us have felt His love lift us up during moments of darkness and despair? How much have we felt loved and thus realized our value to Jesus? Being a Christian does not mean we lose sight of our struggles in our race towards our inheritance- eternal life. It involves taking stocking of both the good and bad parts of our life and ourselves as we run towards Him. It means that being a good christian and a bad christian will happen as often as life happens, and it is part of the journey. I am often reminded of the gracious way in which Jesus has lifted me out of my various very stupid mistakes and helped me grow. If I had not been for such scenarios, I would have never experienced feeling His grace freeing me from the burdens of this world and its demands of perfection. I would never have had the chance to keep transforming and focus on His word in the hopes of bearing good fruit. In losing my kernel, I was able to view life as a path function rather than a state function. In our path function of a life, we can only keep turning back to God no matter how many times we stumble or lose our way.
5. God determines good from bad- Give it up to God!
During our very stochastic life processes, we are unable to sense the bigger picture until we really take time to pray and ask God for discernment. When we do this, we allow for Him to guide us in our spiritual walk. If we were to allow for any voice other than the bible and voice of Jesus reign over us, we will be lead astray. Also, Jesus explains to his disciples in his Parable of the Tares that it is up to God to determine the good from the bad, the wheat from the weeds (Matthew 13).
Just something to think about the next time someone qualifies the term Christian with a “good” or “bad”! Thanks for any comments or feedback!
Verses and references used in this post:
1. Grace vs the law
-Mark 10:27, NIV: Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
-John 1:16-17, NIV: Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given.
For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
–Galatians 3:13, NIV: Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.
-Luke 6:41-42, NIV: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
2. Bearing good fruit
-Luke 6: 43-44, NIV: No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers
3. Losing our kernel
-John 12:24, NIV: Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
4. State function vs path function
-http://chemwiki.ucdavis.edu/Physical_Chemistry/Thermodynamics/State_Functions
5. God determines good from bad
– Matthew 13
3 Replies to ““Bad” Christian”
Very well written and thought provoking. Keep up the great work you young author!!
Lovely Minu and very true. I am so glad you could shed that comment. I love you.
Such a great read and I so appreciate your symmetry to science. Thank God for your awesome delivery!